I don’t like people who like Japanese anything; I know I sound like a bit of a hypocrite here. Though really, there’s just something about a select few of the people at my university of choice that sort of bother me. Hell, maybe I bother them. I’m sure I do. Maybe in any other situation I wouldn’t mind them; they are, all things considered, probably decent people. So here I am, giving them the benefit of the doubt. There’s your disclaimer; I respect these folks on a primordial level.

I’m not sure why I’m in a Japanese language class if I don’t like the people in it, or the culture surrounding it. The same can be said about my declaration as a major in English and despising my colleagues, though I am certain that maybe it is simply everyone who offends me. I’m actually sort of joking there, by the way. Really, I just like the language. English is sort of slapdash and weird, but I like it. Japanese is, for the most part, very structured and ordered. And I really like writing the alphabet; writing in hiragana and katakana is like having sex with a bowl of ice cream; sex so hot that you give the ice cream freezer burn. Yeah, that makes no goddamned sense. Anyway, I guess I can use an example here: periodically throughout class, at least 4 or 5 people will say something that doesn’t make any sense (in Japanese). For example, some slack-jawed son of a bitch wearing a fucking Mega Man t-shirt and plaid Chuck Taylor knock-offs will say something to the effect of “HAI, OOKII DEKIMASEN DESU KA ARIGATOU.” That doesn’t make any sense. I’m not even trying to sound like an asshole here, that just doesn’t work properly in Japanese. It’s an affirmative term, some adjective bullshit and a bunch of other crap that doesn’t form a proper sentence in the language we’re studying. In other words, it’s all this guy knows in Japanese. That’s fine. We’re in an elementary Japanese class, after all. But it’s the reason that bothers me. He said it to be funny. And people laughed at it. They laughed at a garbled Japanese sentence. These people, mind you, openly admitted to the entire class (or world, really) that the only reason they’re taking the class is because “ANIME KAWAII DESU ^_^”. (Someone actually said that, too. As for the emoticon, well . . .) This is roughly the equivalent of me screaming out “HELLO OKAY NO BICYCLE THANK YOU CARTOONS DONKEY BAGEL YES” in the middle of class. Is that funny? I mean, fucking really?

I go to a nerd school, so this sort of thing is to be anticipated. But man, seriously. There’s this other girl who sits with her (perfectly straightened) back to her desk, eyes full of dreams, hands clasped to her chest. She responds to literally everything the teacher (or sensei, as she likes to call her (seriously)) with “Hai.” Sometimes she even has the audacity to say, “Hai, sensei.”

Today she said something that motivated me to write whatever it is that I have just written in the span of 5 minutes inside the library. I’m going to publish this on the internet verbatim, and then I’m going to get up from the chair I’m sitting in and walk away; I’m not going to think of this statement or this incident ever again. It’s better that way. The teacher asked us for the English equivalent of a Japanese term that she couldn’t communicate in our native tongue. Something to the effect of a colleague that is older or more experienced, but has the same job as you. Basically the answer to her question was something like a “senior” — something to the effect of that, anyway. This girl, she LITERALLY said this to the teacher in response (again, hands clasped with an air of seriousness that would piss God off — emphasis added for stupidy): “HAI, SENIOR DESU KA.”

FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.